The last time I posted one of these my mom was worried that I was using the word ‘failed’ too often. I can see what she meant, especially as we both need to be careful about how judgementally we construct our mental narrative. But then again, it’s ok to say that objectively speaking I failed to meet a goal. Frank acknowledgement of failure gives the times when I do succeed that much more sweetness. Besides, lately I’ve been much better about using words that evaluate me without giving them too much power when they’re negative. (Do you fall into that trap? Giving so much more weight to negative words about yourself?)
My perspective on failure has also changed. Failure used to be the end point. The crushing and final blow. It was something to fear. But now I’ve got Ms Frizzle’s approach to venturing something: “Take chances. Make mistakes. Get messy.” Failure is actually really important because it provides key insights. Why did I fail? What didn’t work? What in particular got in my way?
I don’t mind failing anymore. Which is good, because here comes March’s update…
Focus 1: Social
overall goal: I keep saying I want to get together with people more often. This year, I will.
March:Host dinner or games night. Go to one knit night.
It’s so hard to get people to agree to come over. Are we scary? Or is everyone too busy? I made it to knit night, though. :)
Focus 2: Intellectual
overall goal: read more
March: read a book
Yes! Books were read. Phew. Doing ok so far this update.
Focus 3: Physical:
overall goal: 145 pounds and long runs back up to 2 hours
March: run 4X weekly, long run to 1:40
Nope, nopey, wow big fail. You know what, though, I am still running. And I’m running longer each week. It’s getting easier again, which feels so fantastic. I’ve lost a little bit of weight, which helps make me feel like I’m moving forward.
Focus 4: Designing
overall goal: release patterns monthly
March: publish a pattern, have next one in test knitting
I published a whole collection of patterns! Getting the Pomball Hats out into the world is one of the most fun and rewarding things I’ve done in the last few years. I’m so proud of this work. As for the part where I have a pattern in test knitting, I instead ripped the cowl back when it was nearly finished but not working. So I reknit it and it looks great now.
This is the goal where I think I’ve learned the most about how important it is to have processes set up so that it’s easy to remember how important this is and to keep on track. I’ve started a new two-page spread in my Bullet Journal that I think will really help me stay on top of this better. If it works – or if it fails – I will be doing a bit of a review later in the month.
Focus 5: Homeschooling
overall goal: pour attention and motivation into my teenager
Success. Things feel like they’re really clicking.